Sunday, February 28, 2010
Sunday, February 14, 2010
truth, part ii
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
knowing your secrets - thoughts on truth, part i
photo: flickr Thursday, November 12, 2009
part of me in the chaos that's quiet
I used to dream of days off. Sick days, snow days - I welcomed any interruption to the daily obligation of spending hours learning at school and hours doing homework at home. These respites fluttered my heart with hopes of summer vacation like photographs and letters from a lover far away.
I paid no mind to the Everest of make-up work that awaited me. Rather, I turned my attention to Star Wars (Episode IV: A New Hope) which was recorded on a VHS tape from a television airing and had the commercials [mostly] paused out. Visions of justice-seeking intergalactic rebellion danced in my head, while I laid buried beneath blankets sweating out my fever on the couch.
As a student, my presence at school was compelled neither by positional nor financial mandate. School continued as normal when I was gone, and I lost no money by being absent. Furthermore, I possessed more than enough intellectual capability to catch up to my grade school counterparts with relative ease.
Unfortunately, a new dynamic has emerged as I travel further into adulthood. Now I must navigate a complex algebraic equation in order to determine whether any given illness is worthy of calling in sick for a day. The degree of illness - the money I would lose + the amount of work I would have to make up * the stress of coming up with a lesson plan for a substitute / how much I feel like I've been hit by a truck = either calling in sick or coughing up a lung in class.
Mature life requires many such decisions to be made. The New Super Mario Bros. or rent? Late-night blogging or enough sleep to function tomorrow? Another scoop of ice cream or fitting into my pants?
Why must all of the desirables be double-edged with such wicked consequences? It seems that life is one cosmic hangover waiting to happen.
Yet, these choices are not completely devoid of their joys. Responsibility yields a job well done, which yields a paycheck, which might yield some amusement in the form of a digitized Italian plumber and his dinosaur trying to save a fruitily-named princess. (Am I the only one who thinks Mario sounds more and more drug-induced the older I get?) Some benefits prove much more satisfying too - respect, appreciation, etc.
I suppose I will choose the high road for its glories, despite its challenges, stopping to rest only as necessary or earned. Still, I think I need to go witness the destruction of the death star again.
Use the force, Luke. Use the force.
Read more...Thursday, October 15, 2009
postmodernism and pancakes, part ii
For the next few minutes, the young gentlemen loaded into the classroom a six-foot folding table, two electric griddles, pancake batter, plates, cups, plastic utensils, napkins, and syrup.
Their fellow students soon followed as the start of first-period drew closer. The others brought homemade coffee cake, various sugary cereals, and peanut butter. Only milk was forgotten, and the cafeteria was happy to provide white and chocolate cow juice (at a price, of course).
As appetizing chaos erupted for the first twenty minutes of class, I began to wonder if I had made a horrible mistake. I envisioned sugar-crazed students destroying the school like zombies craving flesh, never again learning from the Bible in my class. I saw ants forming battalions and staging an overthrow of my classroom. Oh, the horror I had invited by welcoming breakfast!
But then, tummies began to fill, and students respectfully deposited their sticky trash in a receptacle outside the classroom. The contented students then looked to me with an uncommon focus. At my urging, they took out their notebooks, and for the next hour we discussed the concept and history of postmodern thought.
I would dare say that it was our most productive class session to date. Apparently breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Read more...
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
postmodernism and pancakes, part i
At any given moment on every school day, 24 or 25 of them occupy my room - leaving only for lunch or to switch places with a couple dozen others of their knowledge-hungry peers. I have no prep periods, and only the 35 minutes of solace during the midday meal keep me from going fetal and rocking back and forth while envisioning my "happy place".
So why do this? Surely it's not for the paycheck, which routinely runs out as though it were being chased by a crazed axe-murderer. Nor does the "respect" conjured up by students ages 15 through 18 cause my ego to swell to self-actualizing proportions.
A couple of weeks ago, my seniors asked if we could meet at IHOP for our 80-minute block class the following morning. I declined, citing the overly-litigious atmosphere that surrounds schools in California (and the ridiculously sticky tables that seem the norm at every IHOP). As a matter of consolation, I offered that we could enjoy breakfast in the classroom but only if the students organized it themselves.
Two seniors met me at my classroom door the next morning, looking a bit more suspicious than usual. I unlocked the classroom, and they promptly marched through in order to open the classroom's other door, allowing their accomplice inside.
Clearly, they were on a mission.
Saturday, August 01, 2009
if I knew I was understood - recurring dreams, part ii
This summer, however, a new series of dreams has started.
These new dreams always occur in my classroom. In them, I am often brilliant, cruel, or both. My moments of brilliance in my dreams make Robin Williams' Dead Poets' Society instruction look like that of Ben Stein in Ferris Bueller's Day Off. (Ben Stein is an incredibly intelligent man in real life, by the way. You should listen to him every chance you get.)
Students always spark the moments of fantastical cruelty. I never instigate. I merely respond. A student arrogantly interrupts with one too many smart-aleck comments, and I wittily wither them far past the point of necessary correction to a place where their self-esteem hangs out a cardboard sign that reads "will work for pity."
You try working with teenagers without dreaming of exacting a little verbal revenge.
Because I do not know if any board members (or their friends) read these thoughts, I will decline to mention whether or not any of these nocturnal visions ever include forms of punishment still embraced by the state of Missouri, Catholic school nuns, or strict schools in Asian countries.
It seems as though the brief silence left by the frantic clergy dreams have been replaced by teacher dreams. I used to think the Saturday night dreams about church were a sign that I was still a pastor, even without a congregation.
I guess that means that I am really a teacher now.






